AS I WALKED INTO THE TRENCHES I........felt nervous and frightened. I could hear the different sounds of bombs and guns firing, soldiers crying, then there is silence. When I write to my family I just sit on the damp floor wishing I was back home. In the trenches life gets miserable, freezing cold,dark,wet and sad. As I sit in the trenches I make brilliant friends.
3 Comments
Mr Lockey
15/11/2014 01:36:42 pm
Thanks Katie, your writing captures the mood of the work we have done in class over the past two weeks. I like the description you have used but most of all I like the sentence opener 'When I write to my family' - this is exactly what I have been asking you to do to develop your writing. Well done using commas to make a list as well. So many good things in one piece of work! Instead of me telling you how to make it better I'll ask you the question, what would you add to improve it?
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katie
8/12/2014 11:09:10 am
was the solja goud
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Jack Simpson
9/12/2014 11:30:18 am
Very welldone Katie
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AuthorMrs Wilcock Year 3 are looking forward to sharing our fantastic achievements with the world!
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