My Ultimate Adventure was an awesome theme park called Fantasy Island. You need a wrist band that costs £5.00. The first ride I went on was a roller coaster called the Odyssey. It’s the biggest and scariest ride. I thought that I couldn’t get on the ride because I was too small, but I was just the right size. I excitedly entered the ride entrance and was strapped in the seat and suddenly the ride began. First we went up a steep incline and dropped down fast. It twisted and turned making loops upside down. It was an awesome experience.
7 Comments
22/3/2015 05:54:15 pm
I thought that your story was interesting and it looked fun.The roller coaster looked very big and scary.
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Emily H
23/3/2015 04:02:14 pm
I loved your story. It really seemed like an amazing adventure. Maybe next time you could use another personal pronoun not just "I" which would make your story a 10/10. I can not wait to read more of your stories and see what other adventures your character goes on.
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Carole (Team 100WC UK)
24/3/2015 01:19:30 pm
Well done, Rebecca, you have written this well. The sentences flow together well and I like some of your word choices such as 'excitedly entered'. I have been teaching my class how to use adverbs and I will show them your writing tomorrow. I would be very nervous if I was at a fairground like this as I am a little bit afraid of big rides. Well done for entering the 100WC this week - keep up the good work.
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molly and Olivia
25/3/2015 03:09:07 am
star: I like the adverbs
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Holly R
25/3/2015 11:10:56 am
well done Rebecca your story was great and your roller coast looked really fun .
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26/3/2015 02:25:57 am
Nice post, Rebecca - that rollercoaster looks amazing! :)
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Ayva
7/4/2015 12:48:44 am
i love your story rebecca very exciting cant wait to hear more!
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